I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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