In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
