I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
