i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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