Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
