That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
