She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
