What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
