I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
How naked do you want me to be?
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