I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
