I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
