i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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