I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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