just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
