your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
