Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
