you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
