just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
