so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
