Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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