Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
