he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
