would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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