Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
