and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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