I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
