Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
