Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
