Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
