dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
