If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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