IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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