You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
