return my video game
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
