If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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