im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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