The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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