Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
