Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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