I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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