i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
