You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
