1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just invented taco cereal.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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