Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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