yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
