I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
