MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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