yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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