They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
