i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
