you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
