Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
