While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
