doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
