Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The uberlube is also flammable
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
